EXCLUSIVE: Paul the Psychic Octopus predicts the fate of humanity

In the world of psychic powers, few tests come bigger than predicting the fate of humanity itself.
With Paul the Psychic Octopus making headlines around the world right now for his incredible ability to correctly predict the winner in all of Germany’s World Cup games so far, SSY got in touch with Paul for what would prove to be the ultimate test of his psychic capabilities.

Writing in 1915, the German revolutionary Rosa Luxemburg first raised the idea that the future of our planet lay in one of two roads: either socialism, or barbarism. Decades later, another foreign exile in Germany (Rosa was actually Polish, while Paul is actually an English octopus) was faced with a similar predicament – a question that would put all of our eight-tentacled friend’s psychic abilities to the test, as he sought to determine the very fate of the human race.

What would Paul decide? Are we to be condemned to, as Rosa put it all those years ago, “the awful proposition: the triumph of imperialism and the destruction of all culture, and, as in ancient Rome, depopulation, desolation, degeneration, a vast cemetery” or…“the victory of socialism?”

Watch with baited breathe as Paul reveals the fate of all humanity:

Oh (oh oh oh octopus), and if you’d like to see how Paul’s World Cup final predictions pan out as well, come along to  SSY’s World Cup South Africa showdown spectacular on Sunday night! Wintergill’s Bar, Great Western Road, Glasgow from 7.30 on Sunday – watch the game and then celebrate/commiserate the result with quality tunes from South Africa! £2/4 entry otd, lots of special prizes – not to be missed!

9 Comments

  1. Muzza says:

    Very very good.

  2. Lydia says:

    I’m Paul’s biggest fan.

  3. Sarah says:

    AH LOVE SSY

  4. Soo Ching Pin says:

    This was the octopuppeteer’s pick, because I can see clearly it was not Paul in the video. LOL

  5. fronswa says:

    So bad it’s good.

    That Bowden has a fine singing voice btw.
    Wish I could make it to the pub for the game tomorrow.

  6. Jack says:

    Soo Ching Pin, those are filthy lies! Paul is a highly committed eco socialist!

    Plus I can’t believe you would deride the work of Scotland’s top special effects unit, this is Glasgow’s answer to Avatar.

    Although I do like your terminology, I think it’s time for “Octopuppeteer” to take pride of place alongside “fish man”, “old folks bum wiper” and “socialist organiser” on my CV.

  7. Andy Bowden says:

    Don’t forget rail toilet quality control and foreign languages promoter for pollok jack.

  8. Euan Benzie says:

    Bowden should go on Britain’s got Talent :P