Pro-nuclear power, pro-nuclear weapons, pro-army, pro-life! That's us, the Tories!

Hey all you happy cheery women out there! Would you like to know which of your rights are being demolished this time? I bet you’re just bursting to know!!

• Sex education for all! Not just those lucky enough to live near an non-denominational school. To be frank, no one gives two damned fucks about ‘God’s Plan for Life’ – We want to know what are the implications of unsafe sex and how the hell you prevent babies! And you know what? Not all of us have the money to travel miles away to go to a non-religious school, but I tell you what, you give me the travel money, and I will.
• Free condoms in all secondary schools. Nothing prevents a baby like a wee rubber bag to catch sperm! It’s a brilliant idea, innit? Well, you should slap a sexual health room and counsellor in each school to hand ‘em out and give the kiddies advice about this new, fancy sex stuff. Oh! Oh, what’s that you’re saying? It’ll encourage them to have sex too young? Well, here’s some news for you, Tories – Sex is pretty much the most awesome thing LEIK EVAR. If people want to have sex, they’re going to whether there’s someone to get safe sex advice from or not. Why not keep ‘em safe, eh?
• Have a wee pop at ending poverty. One of the reasons people don’t want kids is because WE CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY FOR THEM. If you’re dirt poor already, who the hell wants another mouth to feed, skin to clothe and body to warm. Not any of us. Give people more money and people will not have to worry about this. They can keep a child and care for it properly without living your whole life in desperate need of money, sinking further and further into depression, with your kid having a shoddy life too.
• Protect women. Go to greater lengths to cut sexism. There are predatory men because women are portrayed so heavily by the media as being completely available for the taking. Pathetically, only 1 in 20 of reported rape cases in Scotland end with a conviction. Many, many more cases go even with report because women know themselves that they will not find justice this way. Do not let our women suffer at the hands of these monsters and as a result. Futher more, they will not need abortions from non-consented conceptions.

Following these simple steps will reduce the amount of abortions needed each year by helpless women. The effects of simply reducing the available time period will only be that more women will resort to ‘back alley’ abortions and cause serious damage to themselves. Sure, the RECORDED abortion rate will drop, but the actual rate will not. Women will become ill and possibly die from what the Tories have forced them to do. That’s blood on your hands, Nadine.

I mean, JEEZE we even supplied a diagram!

Women are entitled to the rights that men have, to do exactly what they want with their bodies whenever they want to. Who is anyone to say that a woman should keep/give birth to a baby she does not want? That is up to the woman, if you ask me (Or indeed any sane person). To deprive women of this right is just tyranny. It’s just another way to ‘put her in her place’. Imagine if old Div Cam could get preggo? Just imagine with me for a second that he did. His belly swelled and the doctor said.

And he’d say “Of course! I mean, I WAS stupid and slutty enough to have sex! DUH! Wouldn’t want to contribute to the abortion rates! I should just go back home and quit my job to prepare to dedicate at least 16 years of my life to raising my new child. Forget my flourishing career! I’m ready to be a mummy!”

Naw. He’d be legging it down to the abortion clinic screaming

Aye, what’s your answer to that, Na-demon Dorries?