Awrite mah we muckers, It’s Wee Lydia Teapot here again mate.

Joost wahnteed tae droap in a wee message tae say that ahm fucken SHITTIN mahself aboot this Prime Minister buisness. Ah ken thit the Tories goat the maist seats but no a majority. Whit dis that mean? A hung Parliament? (Aye, ah’d like tae see thum aw hung tae be honest) ur an over rule by David “Thatcher” Cameron? Ah’d rather be kneecapped tae be honest.

Listen mah wee chumpos, A’ve goat a plan though. T’night wur gaunny rally against these wankers. Independence the fucken noo. You should dae it tae. Get yur clogs oan and dae whit ye need tae dae tae send oot the message thit you’re no an idiot ‘n’ thit ye wahnt yer fucken freedom fae the Tory mob.

Perty it George Sqr th’night anaw. See ye there mah wee muckers. (If ah’ve no shat mah brains oot in fear that is)

Over ‘n’ oot mah wee muckers.

Ahm hinkin' sumthin lit this...

Some Facebook groups regardin’ events thit ur gaun oan:

Peaceful Demo

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=105107362867240&index=1

Riot, mate

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=118461951509955

A wee Perty

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=117029908329208

Any you go tae, joost make the message clear, buds.

First off, some good news: there are rumours going round that not a single person in the town of Motherwell voted for the Tories. Not one. People of Motherwell, we salute you!

And confirmation of what we already knew last night: there is a hung parliament. The Tories now have no chance of getting a majority.  Does this still mean Prime Minister Cameron The Evil Robot? Only time will tell.

"I just voted . . EVERYWHERE!"

The polls have closed. The votes are in. Now it’s time to bring us the results of Britain’s most important election that isn’t decided by phoning a premium rate number.

All the papers are projecting an SSP landslide in every seat we’re standing in, but we’re trying to keep our feet on the ground.

What does excite us more than Nick Clegg feels about having sex with his 31st woman is the fact that this will be the first ever UK general election to be LIVEBLOGGED in Leftfield. We’ve got two different teams bringing you live updates, one in the count in Glasgow with Socialist candidate and SSY member James Nesbitt, and one with the SSY blog newsroom bringing you updates from around the UK (as they come on the telly.)

Will David Cameron get to piss on the ashes of Broken Britain? Will Gordon Brown continue to do that weird thing with his jaw in the middle of sentences from 10 Downing Street? Or will Nick Clegg get to bring us his brand of “new” politics by returning the Whig party of Pitt the Elder to power?

Which particular colour will the bucket of shit we’re going to get served be? There’s only one way to find out, or one decent way at least, which is to keep refreshing this site obsessively all night. It begins . . .

Read the rest of this entry »

As we’ve already reported today, The Sun have been relentlessly trying to persuade us to vote Tory. The reason for this is that the Murdoch empire that owns it has sunk millions into pushing the Tories, in the hopes of getting a government that will give them everything they want.

One of the things they want is to be able to keep using pornography to sell their papers. For decades, The Sun has put pictures of nearly naked teenagers on page 3 to help keep them as the number one “news”paper in the UK.

Unsurprisingly, many women are unhappy about the way that page 3 exploits women, encouraging Sun readers to objectify them and think of them solely as sex objects. There’s been frequent calls to try and stop The Sun pushing pornographic pictures of young women.

Since 2003, The Sun have accompanied the pictures with what they call ‘News In Briefs’. This basically consists of putting words in the mouth of the young women they’re exploiting, in order to push their political agenda. Supposedly, we’re led to believe, these women are not only hired to bare their chests, but also because they share the extreme right wing agenda of the Murdoch empire. Not only is this exploiting the models, it’s also manipulating the readers through a twisted version of sexuality, in order to try and get them to support their sinister agenda. You can check out some of the examples here, such as “Poppy thinks Tony Blair was absolutely right to send the troops into Iraq,” or “Tina thinks the G20 have taken the right decision to inject a trillion dollars into the financial system.”

It’s hard to tell what they intend you to think as you read these captions. Is it meant to mean, ‘These are intelligent young women who have made a free choice to be glamour models.’ Or are is it just a way to mock the objectified women even further, by making the patently ridiculous claim that they really said the things attributed to them?

The election special of ‘The News in Briefs’ concerned the noises that some MPs have made about taking action against page 3. Normally I would just link to it, but I’m not sending hits to right wing porn, so here’s the text:

“SIXTEEN Page 3 Girls in all their glory represent the very image of freedom in this country.

But if Labour or the Lib Dems win the election, this could be the last time they are allowed to pose together.

MPs Harriet Harman and Lynne Featherstone will move swiftly to change the law and ban Page 3 forever.

John Locke: Not happy about his theory being appropriated to justify pornography

Our national treasures – who even enjoy the Royal seal of approval from our future King Prince Charles – will be no more.

And at a stroke the very liberties that put the Great into Great Britain will be torn asunder.

The radical ideas of the 17th-century philosopher John Locke helped shape our freedoms enshrined in the Bill of Rights and, later, America’s Constitution.

Lib Dem frontbencher Featherstone was cheered by women’s rights activists when she declared she would “love to take on Page 3″.

But our Poppy said: “The basis of Lockean thought is his theory of the Contract of Government, under which all political power is a trust for the benefit of the people.

“His thinking underpins our ideas of national identity and society. Please don’t let those who seek to ban our beauty win. Vote to save Page 3!”

There’s so much wrong with this article I don’t know where to start. That’s why we’ve lined up Leftfield’s own page 3 stunnas to give our own left wing take on this particular nonsense.

Bob from Airdrie says: “I resent the way they say that banning page 3 would put women on the dole queue, because it implies being a ‘glamour model’ is actually a proper job.

The fact of the matter is it’s not a proper job, it doesn’t come with a wage. Models are not employed, they’re rented from an agency, and paid a tiny portion of the fee that that agency takes. A small minority get to make a bit more money by becoming celebrities, but the vast majority either have to get an actual job, or become even more exploited by going fully into the horrendous pornography industry.

It’s a big lie that glamour models are liberated women who have made a choice, and who make loads of money. They’re exploited and paid a pittance. Page 3 models are not employees, they’re products, as far as the Murdoch empire is concerned.”

Doug from Kirkcaldy says: “This whole so-called controversy is ridiculous, because it’s clearly a transparent ploy to shore up the vote of progressive women for Labour and the Lib Dems.

If Harriet Harman actually took page 3 seriously, she’s had 13 years in government to do something about it. She’s been deputy leader of the Labour Party since 2007, and it’s proven to be all talk.

The fact of the matter is that Labour care far more about the support of the right wing press than they do about doing anything serious to try and stop the sexual exploitation of women.”

And Bill from Auchtermuchty says: “The philosophy supposedly spouted by the models in this article is nonsense.

First of all, the Bill of Rights and the American constitution are in the USA. Britain has neither, so the idea that John Locke’s philosophy has been enshrined in law here is totally wrong.

As a socialist, I do recognise that John Locke made an important contribution to the history of philosophy. His theory of the social contract argues that a government cannot be legitimate without the consent of the people.

The problem however, which was recognised by Marx and other socialists, is that the individualist conception of human rights pretends that everyone can be equal in a society that is still really unequal, because some own property and get rich from the labour of the vast majority.

In the case of page 3, the objectification of women reflects a society where women are forced to compete for the attention of the men who dominate sexist society. Our patriarchal society means that men have power and access to resources that women don’t. Women are only considered valuable to this sexist hierarchy if they’re deemed sexually attractive, and page 3 encourages men to keep thinking this way.

How, in this context, can we really claim that everyone has an equal say in society? How can we pretend that sexism is over women are liberated when this kind of misogynist propaganda is looked at daily by millions all over the UK?”

Fresh from the internets, news reaches Leftfield of the party of the year so far:

“Tomorrow we may be facing the first Conservative government in 13 years.
But Scotland didn’t vote Tory then. And Scotland doesn’t vote Tory now.On Friday evening, if the Tories get in, we’re going to party in George Square, Glasgow.

Party in defiance of tax cuts for the rich, tax hikes for the poor, VAT rises, racist immigration policies, massive cuts in public services, unemployment, job losses, bigger bonuses for the bankers, war-mongering… and the posh, Eton wankers we’ll have in government.

BRING: banners, flags, placards, soundsystems, food, music, noise, colour, ALL YER PALS, megaphones, sweeties and ANYTHING ELSE.

ALL WELCOME. except fascists and tories. They can fuck off.

Start time: Friday May 7th at 6pm.

End time: Saturday May 8th at 2am.

Location: George Square, Glasgow.

**this will only work if people invite folk and spread the word among their friends – dae it!**”

If tomorrow is day 1 of a new Tory occupation of Scotland, the resistance starts at 6pm. Be there!

Confirm yourself on the Facebook event.

In a last desperate push for votes, the Brown and Cameron today made attempts at inspiring speeches to show us their vision for Britian. First up, David Cameron:

Meanwhile, Gordon Brown, clearly feeling the pressure, and tired and emotional, appeals for a sympathy vote:

All these via Speech Breaker.

Princess Murdoch

The Sun’s front page today (above) is a the final showcase they have to try and desperately push for a Tory government.

Leftfield has said consistently that the best thing we can hope for out of this election is a hung parliament. Nobody knows for sure how tonight is going to turn out. A strong Tory government (which is still possible) or a Labour majority (which looks really unlikely at this point) both would result in a strong government for the capitalist class.

A strong government elected today means that before too long we can expect a massive attack from the people in power, starting tomorrow. Just look at Greece: the people there elected a “Socialist” government in disgust at the economic crisis. Now that same government is pushing through an unprecedented assault that threatens the survival of the Greek working class.

The good news is that the opinion polls are all pointing towards a hung parliament, and a period of uncertainty and indecision as to who’s in charge. The only big party right now that looks like it could deliver a government with enough seats to push through cuts, new anti union laws and sackings is the Tories, and the Murdoch papers are trying to give them one last push.

Even though the other big two parties are no better, it is a testament to the class consciousness of normal people that a year ago the Tories had a huge poll lead, but a the day drew near they realised they didn’t want an Eton educated wanker in government. Despite the full weight of the right wing propaganda machine behind him, David Cameron hasn’t been able to get clearly ahead. Which is good.

That doesn’t mean that we should be fighting to keep a Labour government either. They’ve promised cuts “deeper than Thatcher”, as everyone reading this blog must know by now. The Lib Dems also want to cut, and have also committed to bring in new laws that would stop workers being able to strike against those cuts. More importantly, the Lib Dems want into power, and will prop up whichever party looks like they can put Liberals in ministerial limos.

The key thing to understand is that the UK, like most of Europe in the world, is in huge debt, because the state used our money to cover the losses made by ultra rich bankers betting on the stock market. This means that the government can’t afford the cost of running the country. Their solution to this crisis is to make you and me pay. None of the three parties that could be part of the next government can possibly conceive of an alternative.

Hung parliament: Best of bad options

But there is one. Make the ultra rich, whose wealth jumped again last year, pay their fair share in tax, and end tax evasion. Cancel the incredibly expensive plans to renew Britain’s weapons of mass destruction, and bring British troops home from Afghanistan. But most importantly, tell the banks we want our money back. The banks that were bailed out with our money have more than enough cash. If we take them into public ownership, and use those vast reserves of money to do actually useful stuff, like transforming the UK energy economy to try and prevent climate change for example, it’ll create jobs and do a hell of a lot more good than going towards bonuses for millionaire executives.

If you live in one of these places, you can vote today for someone who stands up for this alternative. but today is only the beginning. Over the next few months we need to build up a ferocious resistance movement to the world of shit that the next government is going to try and plunge us into. We can stop the cuts, and we can put an alternative on the agenda. The weaker the next government is the better for us, but whatever happens tonight it’s going to take a hell of a lot of people power. So today, we recommend that where you can you vote for a socialist candidate standing against the cuts. And from today, get involved in building up a fightback to whoever forms the next government.

If you think it can’t be done, just check out some of the stuff we’ve been covering in Greece over the last few days.

David Cameron’s reaction on learning he won’t get a majority government:

That waxy sheen becomes self-aware and begins to eat half of Cameron's face.

Just when you thought you had enough reasons to set The Sun on fire, they go and give you another one! Most of the complaints I’ve seen about this one run along the lines of “Oh, how dare they compare Cameron to a REAL CHANGE like Obama!” and sure, I can go along with that to some degree. I mean there’s nothing special about some viciously posh Eton boy getting to run the UK; there was something special about the USA electing its first black president.

The worst thing about this though? It’s the cloying, smarmy, up their own arse quality that it’s got. Come on peons, we’ve got some stolen famous graphic design! Just do what you’re told and vote Tory! Resistance is futile! We have our own Obama now! 100% fake change, now with added Tory Bastardry.

It’s going to be a long day.

David Cameron was delayed in voting for himself this morning, as security had to remove two men from the roof of his polling station. They were swigging from a champagne bottle, dressed as posh wanks like Cameron, and hung a banner saying

BRITONS, KNOW YOUR PLACE.
VOTE ETON – VOTE TORY.

Specialist police in mountaineering gear were required to remove the protestors.

This election, we are told, is an election of ‘change’. All parties want it. After thirteen years of New Labour, a change of Government seems likely. But will anything actually change? Yesterday, David Miliband in the Daily Telegraph said that the next parliament would see more New Labour MPs elected than in 1997. The Conservatives’ own candidates are increasingly being exposed as homophobic, with a significant number drawn from the newly unemployed class some refer to as  ’bankers’ (hold your tongue to say that one). The Liberals, after eighty years of doing nothing except damaging the climate through the hot gas they expel at regular intervals, think that by putting up a front-man who SSY recently exposed as a horsefly in disguise as a human, they may actually trick the electorate into thinking they are the REAL party of ‘change’.

Gordon Brown goes for 'honesty is best' policy when he tells another voter what he thinks of her.

Let us consider seriously the past thirteen years of New Labour: it is easy to take the piss, but some sobering thoughts before you vote are worth considering.

New Labour’s policies produced the rise of the ‘Welfare Benefit Class’. Harder to say than simply ‘the Poor’, this group has grown under New Labour, and remain below the poverty line on a multitude of ‘benefits’ which are so low, those on them are kept in poverty but unable to find a job which pays better than the benefits they are on.

New Labour have ceased to be the party of the working class. Instead, they are content to see people remain in poverty on benefits, and allow Capitalists and free-marketeers to continue their excellent job of exploiting us all.

During the same time as the unemployed and low-waged were kept down with measly benefits, the Rich were given the power to outsource their jobs around the world, use zero hour contracts to import cheap labour and cheat those workers out of all rights and benefits, paying less than the minimum wage.

Council house sell-offs continued, bankers speculated on future loses, and all this time the Government borrowed against our future with further privatisation and PFI projects, part-sell offs of Air traffic Control, attempts to privatise Royal Mail and demands to tender all government contracts from in-house, government employees to private companies in the name of ‘value for money’. These private companies, having underestimated their costs to win the job, then employed the same employees but on lower wages, poorer conditions and fewer hours to do the same job.

The minimum wage was introduced, but at such a ridiculously low level it was impossible to make ends meet with just one 40-hour a week job. And those under 22 didn’t even qualify, because their labour, was somehow not as valuable. And all the time, the number of working class people forced to survive on benefit handouts increased. Despite the fact that overwhelmingly they want a decent job and want to work. But it was easier to deal with the unemployed, those in poverty and those on low wages with tax credits than actually address the core problem: the working conditions and rights of the workers of the country, and provide jobs.

No matter how hard people work, how many jobs they get, under this system poverty and inequality will continue. And with the increasing number on benefits all the parties are now telling us that the ‘Poor’, or commonly, ‘benefit scroungers’ (easier to say for Tories than tell us who they are), don’t work hard enough and must be forced to get off benefits. Incapacity allowance, jobseeker’s allowance and other benefits are only for the ‘genuine’. The Rich, they say, have earned their wealth. (Interestingly, Paris Hilton is never used as a shining example of the ‘meritocracy’ in which we are supposed to live.) This is the country which New Labour has created.

One of the impacts of Tory media policy if they win.

Understandably for these reasons, and many others, people may be thinking as they cast their vote “anyone but New Labour”. With record youth unemployment, a disgraceful approach to human rights, civil liberties and a racist immigration policy makes this obvious. But the Conservatives or the LibDems aren’t the solution. Just remember: in the 1980s David Cameron looked at the Conservative Party under Margaret Thatcher, and he saw mass unemployment, miners’ striking, racial tension, widespread privatisation, social unrest, anti-trade union laws, Section 28, the rich getting richer at the expense of the poorest in society, and thought ”This is my Party; I belong here.” Today, after a month of General Election campaigning, this is what David Cameron’s idea of ”change” boils down to, despite claims he’s just like us. The Conservative Party has not changed one bit. The Liberal Democrats’ idea of ”change” is no different: means-testing of universal benefits, widespread public service cuts, reneging on scraping tuition fees, and the continuation of a Trident-equivalent nuclear deterrent.

We are told than in this election, that ‘change’ is coming. With the danger of a hung parliament, if we vote LibDem, we get Labour. Or if we vote LibDem, we get Tory. Before you cast your vote, remember this: New Labour were Thatcherites but more so. David Cameron and Nick Clegg will be New Labour but more so. It’s best to file all of this scum under “Tory”.

Vote Socialist on 6 May.