How to Pass your Higher in being a Bolshevik Revolutionary

(The name of the school and the teachers have been changed to protect the proles.) Being in SSY and still being at school can be frustrating, particularly when I live an hour on the train away from Glasgow – the central nervous system, if you will, of SSY activity. My fellow pupils are mostly apathetic [...]

ABORTIONORAMA!

Today, in what can only be described as an ABORTION EXTRAVAGANZA, we bring to you not one, not two, but THREE news stories that should cause sighs of woe from all sensible (i.e. pro-choice) people. First and most stupidly of all, is the worrying news that pre-teen hearthrob and Leftfield laughing stock Justin Bieber is [...]

No Room at the Inn for Homos

Regular news readers may be overcome with a sense of gay ja vu yesterday at the news that yet another “member of the hospitality community” thinks that the Equality Act (Sexual Orientation) Regulations 2007 which outlaws discrimination against gay people doesn’t apply the them. Homophobic hoteliers Peter and Hazelmary Bull, owners of the Chymorvah Hotel, [...]

HERO OF THE DAY: Bishop derides corrupt and sexist 'national flim flam', outrages media

It’s hard to know where to start with the Royal Wedding. So much of the commentary  surrounding it almost goes beyond parody – take this mental ‘satirical’ (?) rant from Richard Littlejohn about the bride being forced to wear a “designer burka from the Kate Moss Intifada Collection at Topshop”, or this horrendously fawning circle-jerk by bigoted [...]

One man fights back against anti-abortion bigots

The man in the above clip was going with his wife to a women’s health centre in Boston for surgery. It followed the devastating news that their unborn child had been diagnosed with Sirenomelia, otherwise known as ‘Mermaid Syndrome.’ The child had both legs fused together and no bladder or kidneys – there was a [...]

Anti-masturbation witch wants women to be more like hobbits.

Christine O’Donnell is the Republican candidate for the US Senate in a special election to be held in Delaware in November. She defeated the Republican insider candidate, a guy who’s been in Congress for ages and used to be the state’s governor, with the support of the mass movement for paranoia and fantasy known as [...]

Homophobes who are actually gay

Have you ever wondered what motivates people who are rampant homophobes? What lies behind the desperate attempts of some people to prove their heterosexuality by denying freedom to others based on their sexual orientation? It’s actually supported by scientific evidence that a major cause of homophobia is the desire to repress unacknowledged or unwanted homosexual [...]

5 great American mad bastards

There are few countries on Earth that seem to be able to provide us with hilarious crazies like the USA. They elected George ‘Monkey with a razor blade’ Bush twice as President, they respect and admire Tom ‘The Pope of Scientology’ Cruise, they continue to listen to Sarah ‘I can see Russia from my bedroom [...]

In defence of funny memos.

Over the weekend it emerged that a government adviser had circulated a memo about the Pope’s upcoming visit to the UK that they have been forced to apologise for. The document was apparently the result of a “brainstorming” session, where staff tried to come up with a scenario for an ideal visit by the Pope. [...]