Nick Clegg points and laughs at YOU, foolish voters

Nick Clegg has confirmed that a vote for his party simply equals a vote for the Conservatives, by admitting that he is looking to speak to Cameron first about forming a coalition government. His party already floundered in the polls and failed to live up to their promised challenge to Labour in this election and appear to have done even shitter than last time around (Current results stand at: Tories 299, Labour 254, Lib Dems 54).

SSY always knew that Nick Clegg would sell out all of the young, enthused voters that he had duped into thinking he was some sort of radical alternative. That’s why we pulled him up when he followed the cynical campaign trail to Glasgow North a few days ago – and 34 leaflets through my letterbox later they still lost to Labour, who increased their vote on 2005!

The Lib Dems are not an alternative, the ONLY alternative is to tell capitalism to get shoved and start working for the people, not for the rich and the powerful.

A Lib/Lab coalition would still be a minority government. A Lib/Tory government would be a majority. Lib Dem supporters can kiss goodbye to their commitment to electoral reform, and any credibility their party might have had over the last month. Tell the Tories (and the Lib Dems who prop them up) to fuck off by coming out in Glasgow tonight for a protest! Some bad people (probably the police/council) have got to the facebook group advertising it and have cancelled the facebook event but rest assured it’s still on, meet 6pm tonight in George Square! Bring banners noisy things colourful things etc etc

Awrite mah we muckers, It’s Wee Lydia Teapot here again mate.

Joost wahnteed tae droap in a wee message tae say that ahm fucken SHITTIN mahself aboot this Prime Minister buisness. Ah ken thit the Tories goat the maist seats but no a majority. Whit dis that mean? A hung Parliament? (Aye, ah’d like tae see thum aw hung tae be honest) ur an over rule by David “Thatcher” Cameron? Ah’d rather be kneecapped tae be honest.

Listen mah wee chumpos, A’ve goat a plan though. T’night wur gaunny rally against these wankers. Independence the fucken noo. You should dae it tae. Get yur clogs oan and dae whit ye need tae dae tae send oot the message thit you’re no an idiot ‘n’ thit ye wahnt yer fucken freedom fae the Tory mob.

Perty it George Sqr th’night anaw. See ye there mah wee muckers. (If ah’ve no shat mah brains oot in fear that is)

Over ‘n’ oot mah wee muckers.

Ahm hinkin' sumthin lit this...

Some Facebook groups regardin’ events thit ur gaun oan:

Peaceful Demo

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=105107362867240&index=1

Riot, mate

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=118461951509955

A wee Perty

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=117029908329208

Any you go tae, joost make the message clear, buds.

First off, some good news: there are rumours going round that not a single person in the town of Motherwell voted for the Tories. Not one. People of Motherwell, we salute you!

And confirmation of what we already knew last night: there is a hung parliament. The Tories now have no chance of getting a majority.  Does this still mean Prime Minister Cameron The Evil Robot? Only time will tell.

"I just voted . . EVERYWHERE!"

The polls have closed. The votes are in. Now it’s time to bring us the results of Britain’s most important election that isn’t decided by phoning a premium rate number.

All the papers are projecting an SSP landslide in every seat we’re standing in, but we’re trying to keep our feet on the ground.

What does excite us more than Nick Clegg feels about having sex with his 31st woman is the fact that this will be the first ever UK general election to be LIVEBLOGGED in Leftfield. We’ve got two different teams bringing you live updates, one in the count in Glasgow with Socialist candidate and SSY member James Nesbitt, and one with the SSY blog newsroom bringing you updates from around the UK (as they come on the telly.)

Will David Cameron get to piss on the ashes of Broken Britain? Will Gordon Brown continue to do that weird thing with his jaw in the middle of sentences from 10 Downing Street? Or will Nick Clegg get to bring us his brand of “new” politics by returning the Whig party of Pitt the Elder to power?

Which particular colour will the bucket of shit we’re going to get served be? There’s only one way to find out, or one decent way at least, which is to keep refreshing this site obsessively all night. It begins . . .

Read the rest of this entry »

Fresh from the internets, news reaches Leftfield of the party of the year so far:

“Tomorrow we may be facing the first Conservative government in 13 years.
But Scotland didn’t vote Tory then. And Scotland doesn’t vote Tory now.On Friday evening, if the Tories get in, we’re going to party in George Square, Glasgow.

Party in defiance of tax cuts for the rich, tax hikes for the poor, VAT rises, racist immigration policies, massive cuts in public services, unemployment, job losses, bigger bonuses for the bankers, war-mongering… and the posh, Eton wankers we’ll have in government.

BRING: banners, flags, placards, soundsystems, food, music, noise, colour, ALL YER PALS, megaphones, sweeties and ANYTHING ELSE.

ALL WELCOME. except fascists and tories. They can fuck off.

Start time: Friday May 7th at 6pm.

End time: Saturday May 8th at 2am.

Location: George Square, Glasgow.

**this will only work if people invite folk and spread the word among their friends – dae it!**”

If tomorrow is day 1 of a new Tory occupation of Scotland, the resistance starts at 6pm. Be there!

Confirm yourself on the Facebook event.

In a last desperate push for votes, the Brown and Cameron today made attempts at inspiring speeches to show us their vision for Britian. First up, David Cameron:

Meanwhile, Gordon Brown, clearly feeling the pressure, and tired and emotional, appeals for a sympathy vote:

All these via Speech Breaker.

…but unfortunately, all that’s “above” is an empty space.

A candidate in Chingford and Woodford Green (that’s in England) has changed his or her name to None Of The Above, and is standing as an independent.

Unfortunately, due to the way the ballot paper is laid out – alphabetically by surname – Mr/Ms Above will appear at the very top of the ballot paper, meaning all of the other candidates are below None Of The Above.  D’oh!

Princess Murdoch

The Sun’s front page today (above) is a the final showcase they have to try and desperately push for a Tory government.

Leftfield has said consistently that the best thing we can hope for out of this election is a hung parliament. Nobody knows for sure how tonight is going to turn out. A strong Tory government (which is still possible) or a Labour majority (which looks really unlikely at this point) both would result in a strong government for the capitalist class.

A strong government elected today means that before too long we can expect a massive attack from the people in power, starting tomorrow. Just look at Greece: the people there elected a “Socialist” government in disgust at the economic crisis. Now that same government is pushing through an unprecedented assault that threatens the survival of the Greek working class.

The good news is that the opinion polls are all pointing towards a hung parliament, and a period of uncertainty and indecision as to who’s in charge. The only big party right now that looks like it could deliver a government with enough seats to push through cuts, new anti union laws and sackings is the Tories, and the Murdoch papers are trying to give them one last push.

Even though the other big two parties are no better, it is a testament to the class consciousness of normal people that a year ago the Tories had a huge poll lead, but a the day drew near they realised they didn’t want an Eton educated wanker in government. Despite the full weight of the right wing propaganda machine behind him, David Cameron hasn’t been able to get clearly ahead. Which is good.

That doesn’t mean that we should be fighting to keep a Labour government either. They’ve promised cuts “deeper than Thatcher”, as everyone reading this blog must know by now. The Lib Dems also want to cut, and have also committed to bring in new laws that would stop workers being able to strike against those cuts. More importantly, the Lib Dems want into power, and will prop up whichever party looks like they can put Liberals in ministerial limos.

The key thing to understand is that the UK, like most of Europe in the world, is in huge debt, because the state used our money to cover the losses made by ultra rich bankers betting on the stock market. This means that the government can’t afford the cost of running the country. Their solution to this crisis is to make you and me pay. None of the three parties that could be part of the next government can possibly conceive of an alternative.

Hung parliament: Best of bad options

But there is one. Make the ultra rich, whose wealth jumped again last year, pay their fair share in tax, and end tax evasion. Cancel the incredibly expensive plans to renew Britain’s weapons of mass destruction, and bring British troops home from Afghanistan. But most importantly, tell the banks we want our money back. The banks that were bailed out with our money have more than enough cash. If we take them into public ownership, and use those vast reserves of money to do actually useful stuff, like transforming the UK energy economy to try and prevent climate change for example, it’ll create jobs and do a hell of a lot more good than going towards bonuses for millionaire executives.

If you live in one of these places, you can vote today for someone who stands up for this alternative. but today is only the beginning. Over the next few months we need to build up a ferocious resistance movement to the world of shit that the next government is going to try and plunge us into. We can stop the cuts, and we can put an alternative on the agenda. The weaker the next government is the better for us, but whatever happens tonight it’s going to take a hell of a lot of people power. So today, we recommend that where you can you vote for a socialist candidate standing against the cuts. And from today, get involved in building up a fightback to whoever forms the next government.

If you think it can’t be done, just check out some of the stuff we’ve been covering in Greece over the last few days.

David Cameron’s reaction on learning he won’t get a majority government:

That waxy sheen becomes self-aware and begins to eat half of Cameron's face.

Just when you thought you had enough reasons to set The Sun on fire, they go and give you another one! Most of the complaints I’ve seen about this one run along the lines of “Oh, how dare they compare Cameron to a REAL CHANGE like Obama!” and sure, I can go along with that to some degree. I mean there’s nothing special about some viciously posh Eton boy getting to run the UK; there was something special about the USA electing its first black president.

The worst thing about this though? It’s the cloying, smarmy, up their own arse quality that it’s got. Come on peons, we’ve got some stolen famous graphic design! Just do what you’re told and vote Tory! Resistance is futile! We have our own Obama now! 100% fake change, now with added Tory Bastardry.

It’s going to be a long day.

David Cameron was delayed in voting for himself this morning, as security had to remove two men from the roof of his polling station. They were swigging from a champagne bottle, dressed as posh wanks like Cameron, and hung a banner saying

BRITONS, KNOW YOUR PLACE.
VOTE ETON – VOTE TORY.

Specialist police in mountaineering gear were required to remove the protestors.