How to Pass your Higher in being a Bolshevik Revolutionary

(The name of the school and the teachers have been changed to protect the proles.)

Being in SSY and still being at school can be frustrating, particularly when I live an hour on the train away from Glasgow – the central nervous system, if you will, of SSY activity. My fellow pupils are mostly apathetic towards politics. In December, when I tried to round up enthusiasm for the student walk-outs planned up and down the country, my pleas were met with a vast array of counter-arguments – “walking out won’t make a difference”; “we’ll get in trouble”; “I’m not going to uni so the fees won’t affect me”; “if I miss school I won’t get my EMA anyway, so what’s the point?”. When the day came, only one other girl and I walked out, which, suffice to say, did not create the huge impact I had hoped.

After spending a weekend in Glasgow with similar-minded radicals and activists, returning to school on Monday can be absolute hell on earth. Some people are so ignorant or spoon-fed with their beliefs there that it becomes an extreme test of emotional strength to sit through six periods without having the urge to harm someone.

our school assemblies are just like this

However, I’m hoping this apathy will subside over the course of the coming school year, thanks in large part to the new addition to staff. Tsar Ebby arrived a few months ago, taking over the role as head teacher from the previous Tsar Ralph. To say he was a teddy bear in comparison is an understatement; although a valued member of staff, his authority was severely lacking. People basically ran riot under his watch. If it were not for his tyrannical deputy head, Winter Palace Academy would have become an anarchic hotspot.

Only two terms after the previous management disbanded, though, and we’re practically begging for their return. Tsar Ebby has swiftly made herself known as a firm dictator figure, who has been overheard several times saying that students’ opinions don’t matter.

I knew we weren’t going to get on from the minute I laid eyes on her. There was something in her sinister grin that told me we were not going to bond. In one of her first assemblies she delivered an impassioned speech about how British soldiers are ‘protecting our freedom’ and ‘defending our country’ in Afghanistan. From that moment my worst fears were confirmed; she was an evil bastard.

As you may or may not realise, it is almost time for those of us at secondary school to move into the next year group. I myself will be, after my exams, a 6^th year pupil at Winter Palace Academy. Some of my peers in my year therefore took the opportunity to apply for the coveted roles of Head Boy and Head Girl. This is a time-honoured tradition and the role is highly sought after. Following an extensive selection process, three male and three female candidates were chosen as the finalists.

You might be wondering why this is relevant, but Tsar Ebby’s  most recent outrage came in the form of her plans for said candidates at the annual Easter ceremony. Always an entertaining affair, I was prepared to sit through some semi-interesting speeches, some motivational dancing (this year the school’s dance troupe were asked to choreograph a routine to the theme of resurrection!) and to purposefully avoid praying when the time came for ‘reflection’. As a vehement atheist, the Easter sermons at school aren’t my favourite activity, but they are usually tolerable. Not this time, though…

Imagine my horror when, one lunch time last week, the candidates returned from a chat with the delightful Tsar Ebby, annoyed and outraged about what they had just been told. She had asked that the candidates read Bible passages at the Easter ceremony, implying that they would not be in with a chance of winning the election should they refuse. Yes, don’t double-take, you read that correctly. Where do you even begin challenging bullshit like that?

Well, first of all, there’s the fact that my academy is a non-denominational school. We are not a Christian school, and therefore the Christian views of any member of the school should not be forced upon the rest of the student body; least of all from the head teacher, who is supposed to assert her authority in a responsible manner. I wonder if she gave any consideration to the Muslim girl in my year that stood as a Head Girl candidate. She never made it to the final three, but if she had, would she have received the same irrational proposition, all to win brownie points? Would she have expected her to denounce her faith in the name of brown-nosing?

One of Tsar Ebby’s ‘campaigns’, if you will, is to promote Winter Palace Academy as a rights-respecting school. By doing what she did, though, it’s clear she could give less of a fuck about our rights. What about our rights to worship whichever religion we choose, or to abstain from worshipping any? To abuse her position of power over pupils she knows depend on her support is disgusting. How co-incidental that there were six passages to be read, and there just happened to be six candidates in the running!

okay, so maybe I took the allegory with the Bolshevik revolution a bit too far..

Despite this obvious blackmail and despite their personal objections to it, the candidates all agreed to do it. But wouldn’t most people? In the same situation, how many people would have chosen to refuse her offer and risk losing the title they’ve dreamed about since the start of their secondary career, rather than accepting it, despite their personal opinion, knowing it would keep them in her good books? I expected some of the candidates to show some conviction to their objections, a quality I would definitely admire in our Head Boy and Head Girl. Although I was disappointed when they all complied with her wishes (despite their expressions of outrage in front of us), I can’t say I expected them to defy her. I just hope that in the coming year, whoever is elected will be more strong-willed in future.

Understandably, some comrades and I were suitably furious at this abuse of power, and set about planning how to effectively protest Tsar Ebby’s lunacy.  Talk of printing and distributing leaflets and contacting the press circulated, but on Wednesday the 20th, the eve of said sermon, our frustrations peaked and we decided the only obvious solution was to walk the fuck out!

A facebook event was hastily set up, hundreds were invited and the message was spread. I was surprised at how many pupils got on board with it, if I’m honest. As I said, our school is majorly apathetic to political and social issues, so to see so many of my student peers get involved so quickly was genuinely heart-lifting. Messages of solidarity were left from former pupils and from activists across Scotland. Even Limmy got behind us on Twitter!

The next morning, the event page had a solid 50 attendees. Not a huge amount, especially as some were not even Winter Palace Academy pupils (but well-wishers offering moral support), but still more than enough to create a good visual impact.

At school that day people were full of questions. We did our best to reassure them about their rights, and a nervy anticipation set in. Rumours spread that Tsar Ebby had seen the event page, something I’d realised would probably happen and was not too concerned about. Quite predictably, by third period I was whisked out of Maths by my guidance teacher, who as a militant atheist, stressed he was on my side, but also insisted the situation must be resolved. So basically, Tsar Ebby shat herself and was desperate to talk us out of it – a success in itself!

Another organiser and I agreed to speak with her. We were prepared for her justifications, the most patronising of which was her reassurance that that very morning she had gathered the candidates and reminded them she had given them the choice. How generous of her, though strange that she had to do it in the first place, and only thought to remind them of how they had a choice after she was caught red-handed.  Her original request was that we take down the event page, but our stiff resolve indicated that we would not be so easily convinced. After a good half hour where Tsar Ebby avoided the real problem and brought up irrelevant issues, our demands were met in return for the promise that the walkout would not go ahead.

No pupils were to read at the sermon. In future, opportunities to partake in religious events would be strictly voluntary and not forced upon anyone, particularly those who simply feel obliged to. Tsar Ebby also agreed to a series of serious consultations over next year. These will address how our school can promote multiple faiths and not just Christianity, and how, on a wider level, management can start prioritising the right issues and not fickle ones.

I was and am extremely proud of everyone who was involved in the planning of the walkout, and how quickly the momentum built. This is the first time anything on such a scale has ever happened in my time at Winter Palaca Academy, and it is my hope that over the course of my sixth year I can continue to mobilise and radicalise the senior student body. It’s an exciting prospect to realise that, actually, some people are politically conscious, and have simply never had a medium with which to express it before. I’m taking it as my responsibility over the next year to inform my student peers about exactly how they can get involved, hopefully encouraging others to join the struggle against political and social injustice. It’d be nice to get some Advanced Highers while I’m at it too!