Bow-Tie wearing toffs have never had it so good

Hands up if you love unemployment

Telling the truth has no place in the ConDem coalition. It seems Lord Young has been sacked for defending and explaining government policy. In a rare statement of honesty Young outlined the logic for spending cuts, “The fact that we seemed to be going through such big cuts really meant that the pound was saved.” Hoorah for the pound! Another outburst of reality as to what the government really thinks came when Young declared that all the people being sacked are within the “margin for error.” This frank outburst reminds many of Norman Lamont’s remark in 1992 that unemployment was “a price worth paying” for low inflation. Lord Young said the “so called recession” wouldn’t really affect anyone other than “people who think they have a right for the state to support them.” What he means is people who believe that the government has a responsibility to do something (anything?) in relation to the running of the country rather than leave it to millionaire businessmen like himself.

The Lord has an illustrious political career including privatising state industries as Industry Secretary (before working for Cable & Wireless, a big beneficiary of the newly privatised and deregulated phone market), and keeping 3 million people on the dole for 2 years between 1985-1987 as “Employment” Secretary. And of course, we cant overlook his business career given that he has been involved in pretty much every con-trick pulled in modern times including property development, private equity and even Deep Water technology. Perhaps he can use some equity to develop a solution to all the oil floating around.

There are a ridiculous amount of clangers in what was a relatively short interview but one of the most revealing was the claim that because mortgage payments were going down we have “never had it so good.” He revealed that apparently the average person now pays £600 less a month. As SSYs resident mortgage expert I can reveal that figure to be….bollocks! Ignoring the idol hoardes who don’t have mortgages this would mean that in Lord Young’s world of bow-ties and bourbon the average mortgage is £250,000 (4 times the national average) making the average house worth between £380,000 and a few million. In short to have £600 a month taken off the amount you pay for your house….you have to live in a big fucking house….perhaps even an Abbey.

The ConDems: On the side of the serfs and the servants

Speaking of Abbeys, after today’s new peerages, Lord Young will be joined on the Tory benches by Julian Fellowes, creator of period drama Tory vision of the future, Downton Abbey. Presumably, he will ensure fair treatment of house maids and man servants during the “so called“ recession. Also coincidentally selected to pass laws are people like Bob Edminston…who donated £2m to the Tories, and Stanley Fink…who donated £2m to the Tories. And as if a new cash-for-honours claim isn’t already on the cards we now also have Lord Gulam Noon who was questioned by police during the last one.

Of course being ruled by unelected Lords is no worse than being ruled by any other form of unelected Tory and its hard to know whether to hate the new Lords, our new Princess or our possible next new Queen more this week. But the Lord told us what the Tories really think. For them the recession is an opportunity to enforce the misery they so desire.  Their victorian desires are all too visible.  The servants may be revolting but we’re coming for you!