Have you heard? There's no such thing as gay people.

This week The Office of National Statistics released the figures from a new survey, which claimed that only 1.5% or 1 in 100 British citizens identity as Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual.

After interviewing only a small percentage of the population the ONS have come to the ‘concrete’ conclusion that only “480,000 adults describe themselves as homosexuals — just one in every 100. Another 245,000 — or one in 200 — are bisexual.”

Their statistics also claim to prove that the majority of those who openly admitted to being gay were more likely to have jobs higher up the career ladder than their heterosexual colleagues. 49.1% of gay people are in managerial or professional positions compared to 30.6% of straight people. However, that 49.1% of the boss class have already built up enough cushioning to be able to give up their straight ‘privilege’ and don’t have the worry of losing their position within society because they have the power to control any homophobia they might face. Whereas less powerful working class people, lower down the career ladder, don’t have this protection and have a lot more to lose. The statistic that 38% of gay people are also apparently better educated compared to 21.9% of straight people also backs this up – the ONS just haven’t thought very deeply about why that might be.

Homosexuals, according to this data, are also much younger than the rest of society with “66 percent under the age of 44 and 17 percent aged 16-24″. Which is most probably due to the fact that it’s more ‘acceptable’ to be out in today’s youth cultures than it has been in previous generations.

This survey also explains that: “A third of bisexual households include at least one child but only 8.6 per cent of gay or lesbian respondents live with a child.” Did it even cross these closed minded peoples’ heads that the one third of bisexual families mentioned were quite possibly living in a happy straight household and that the low rate of gay families with children might possibly have something to do with the way society has scapegoated gay parents and how much mad controversy there was about letting gay people adopt.

Naturally surveys like this must be taken seriously due to their obvious ‘accuracy’ and ‘impartiality’. If these articles tell us that only 480,000 adults describe themselves as gay or lesbian then of course we should ignore the fact that 2.2 million or 6.7% of British citizens use Gaydar or Gaydar Girls, just one of the many internet dating websites for LGBT members of society. Never mind the fact that most gay people, just like most straight people, aren’t even on sex hook up or dating websites.

Now that those champions of equality such as The Sun and The Daily Mail have given us this information, which shows us the ‘correct’ percentage of gay people in the British population, The Sun suggests that:

“Now we have a clearer view of the real figures, we need to start asking some serious questions about the vast sums of taxpayers’ money being spent on such a small minority and the disproportionate amount of attention they receive both in Whitehall and in the media.”

You know what would be easier? Turning around

And The Daily Mail proudly states that this survey has exploded “the assumption – long promoted by social experts and lobbyists – that the number is up to ten times higher than this at one in ten.”

Obviously The Sun aren’t completely hostile towards lesbians, as long as it blurs the line between news and porn. The image they used to illustrate the story is obviously a correct representation of lesbians in today’s society and NOT two women both contorting themselves to face the camera for the pleasure of shit head male Sun readers.

Although this ridiculous survey was probably just the result of stupidity at the ONS, the reaction of the right wing press shows that they clearly have an agenda to use homophobia as a way of cutting vital services that the LGBT community depends on, as seen in Glasgow. Here it is pretty much impossible to meet other gay or lesbian people unless you’re one of these well educated, confident, managerial types, who can afford to go to an expensive bar or club. Obviously unsure young people trying to figure out who they are DO NOT EXIST so they don’t need any money spent on supporting their needs.

12 Comments

  1. LydiaTee says:

    Well written, brogan!
    I enjoyed your quip on the picture most, because as you know, I’m ever offended by The Sun’s portrayal of lesbians in fucking Dear Derdrie’s photo case file book or whateverthefuckitscalled.

    Obviously the best presentation for lesbians, for those who read the sun, is two totally flawless women with as much flesh on show as possible in a low-shelf publication.

  2. Auld Yin says:

    There was big discussion on these “statistical facts” in our house. Well 15 minutes when we were eating our tea anyways.
    As a nearly 50 year old I was taken aback with the 1% figure.
    It would appear that I was living in a freakishly gay world, 10-20% would have been my ballpark figure and that of course would exclude all those who didn’t want me to know.
    So how did the Office of National Statistics, an absolutely reputable source, get this figure.
    It’s from the national census; “Are you gay?”.
    A question like that from Her Majesty’s government cannot be considered a serious sociological statistic.
    The figures show regional and age differences.
    I’ll bet they do.
    How many young males in Larkhall identified themselves as gay ?
    Despite the fact Peter Tatchell proclaimed King Billy to be batting for both sides
    How many homosexuals trapped in marriages of convenience told the government they were gay?
    In the still essentially hostile environment towards gay people many will have thought ‘that’s none of your business’.
    If there are only 1% of gay people in your life then I can’t imagine where you live.
    But then again maybe people don’t want to say, that’s their right.

  3. Puffling says:

    The thing that really pissed me off as well is that the 5% or whatever who declined to answer would clearly also be gay/queer/whatever!

  4. Paul v2 says:

    This must be the stupidiest argument ever one if the reasl figure is 1.5% what does it matter what is a crime that people are straight no obviously not so if this was the figure which is the way that nearly everything else is figured out by is right then you should have no problem with it. If it is more what does it matter any way are you so upset that somebody didn’t get the exact figure.

  5. Jack says:

    Go back and read the article. Reactionaries have been seizing on this extremely faulty research as an excuse to try and make services for LGBT people (already virtually nonexistent in cities like Glasgow) be part of the frontline of their cuts crusade. It’s using the power of homophobia to scapegoat one particular group in order to further the interests of capitalism – i.e. lower public spending, less tax on the wealthy and big companies. THAT’S our problem with it.

    Of course being straight isn’t a crime (speaking as a straight man!), but homophobia is, and part and parcel of it is making LGBT people look like some kind of freakish tiny minority, rather than a substantial and important part of society.

  6. Paul v2 says:

    Jack if it is the figure then it is the figure but too me it appears the current government does not care for the majority nevermind a minority. Cuts are being made in every sector what types of services are specifically needed for LGBT members. I don’t see a legitimate reason for a state run service for individuals the problem is more stuff will be cut from services that are seen as uneccesary arts and films council but if it measns some person keeps his job what is really important a man or woman keeping in employment or a persons feelings.

  7. Jack says:

    Again, I’m confused about what you’re saying. At the end of your comment are you arguing for arts funding to be cut or what? Genuinely don’t understand.

    Services for LGBT people aren’t special privileges given to individuals, they are services for a significant section of society who are persecuted because of their sexual orientation. The kind of thing I mean here is the state providing funding for safe spaces to be operated where people can meet others, realise there is nothing “wrong” with them, get health information (including mental health) and generally feel free to express themselves without running the risk of getting their head kicked in.

    The whole point of the above article was to point out how this ISN’T the figure and the research methodology that produced this arbitrary number is totally flawed.

  8. Paul v2 says:

    The research figure is the only way to check the number. A truer number would be given if the question was put on the censor of course you would probably be the first people to attack the government on this policy. So there is no way of finding out in a conclusive manner.

    On the services I do not see why the government should be funding most of this of course mental health should be included but none of these are specific to gays.

  9. Jack says:

    Oh right I see what you mean, none of what I talked about is specific to gays because straight people suffer from homophobia as well! I demand services to help me cope with all that racism I’ve suffered as a white man!

    The point is that LGBT people suffer from horrific prejudice and abuse at the hands of a homophobic society, and our society should do something collectively to try and deal with that, for example by funding safe spaces where people can meet others and and get information without having to spend loads of money that working class people don’t have in a privately owned gay club. You don’t seem to take homophobia seriously, so you just don’t get why this is necessary.

    I’m not sure what I think about putting sexual orientation on the census, after a wee bit of googling I found out that there was a big petition from some LGBT rights organisations for it to be in the next census but the government said no. http://www.lgf.org.uk/no-go-for-sexual-orientation-question-on-the-census/ I certainly wouldn’t say we would automatically be the first people attacking it.

    What I would say though, which is the whole point of the above article, is that it’s going to be very difficult for research to get a true picture in a homophobic society. Research is political, and this is being used as part of a Tory agenda to cut state services, in this case using homophobia as a justification. A Tory agenda that you support for some bizarre reason.

  10. Paul v2 says:

    As a person living in Glasgow you are very negligent of the fact that there is around two hundred marches in this city alone calling for my fenian blood to be put in a swimming pool for them to wade in or the bouncie bouncie for them to jump on my skull. Please your generalisations are sickening you go for media friendly targets.

    the generalisation you are making are terrible for one I am not a white person that does not show me for what I am. The term covers a wide variety of people from working class to ruling class. From eastern europe to Ireland. I am not and will not be made into an evil overlord or a sorry hander oter I am responsible for none of the social evils but when but under the bracket of white man I am suddenly a villian I will not be generalised and if you had any dignity about yourselve you would not be fitted into a braket so easy yourself.

    Also do you know how many gays are in the tories I would say to you that gays are not restricted to middle classes in fact research shows your more likely to be gay in an affluent family. Tories have much more openly gay members than labour or liberal democrats or at least high profile gays.

    What I was implying with arts and films is that when put beside a mans right to work then it pales in insignifigance.

  11. Jack says:

    Paul has been banned for his abuse of people, but I hope people don’t mind that I approved the comment above out of the spam queue, because I think it says a lot.

    You might not want to say you’re a white person, and on one level I agree with you because I don’t think objectively there is any such thing as white or black people. However, the point about it is that you’ll never be attacked because of the colour of your skin. Anti Irish racism is real and very dangerous in Glasgow, and I’ve got no desire to minimise it, but it doesn’t make you a target anywhere you go in Europe simply by people looking at you. That is a privilege that others don’t enjoy.

    But the main thing is what you have to say about being gay, there’s some crackers you’ve come out with there. Exactly what research says you’re more likely to be affluent and gay? The Homophobia Institute in association with the Daily Mail? It’s complete bollocks.

    You’re the one who doesn’t have a clue what life is like for working class people. Working class gay people that is. Because life can be much harder for them than well off gay people, then you assume they don’t exist, because you’ve made no effort to understand where people are coming from or what they’ve been through. All the stuff you’ve said about us and working class people I would throw right back at you in this case. You are a homophobe, who should really try and get a better grasp of what’s going on before you provide “left” cover for the cuts agenda of the Tories.

  12. Sarah says:

    Paul only cares about oppressions that directly affect him, and seems to believe that everyone other than white Irish men should shut up. Classic white male privilege ‘but I’m oppressed tooooooo! your oppression is invalid because a white man says so!’