She's showing flesh? Consider it target practise.

Would you step in?

Think for a moment. Would you help a woman who was being beaten by her boyfriend? Of course you would. Be it passively (Phoning the police) or actively intervening. Would you help is she were wearing a short skirt and heels? What is she were a black woman?

You might think “Of course,” Although, unfortunately, this is rarely the case.

American show, “What Would You Do” ran an episode on scenarios where actresses dressed in what would be considered “respectable” clothing created a scene in a restaurant where there are being abused by their boyfriends. (Videos can be found here. It’s not a great website, but this is where I found them)

Daubed with make-up to resemble horrific bruises, the first woman, white, sits down at a table in the restaurant, obviously distressed. As quick as gunfire, a man with his wife come over to check is she is okay. They ask tactfully is she’s in need of any help, which she panics and declines and insists that her boyfriend will be mad when he comes if he sees her talking to them. The reluctantly back off and sit down. The boyfriend arrives in all his seething glory. He starts belittling her and grabbing at her, however, he gets nowhere with it. The man and woman at the adjacent table jump up and intervene. The boyfriend reaches and snatches even more violently at the woman’s arm, and a man whom we have no seen in the clip before walks over and physically pushes the abuser away. And this is one hefty shove. He then points in the guys face and tell him to back off.

This is pretty powerful. I was relieved to see that the couple acted so fast, and how the other guy, who is only passing at the time, reacted fast. The scenario is repeated with a black actress, and this time, it is a concerned woman who jumps to her rescue. The woman beelines over immediately when the boyfriend stands to order food. They immediately try to remove her form the situation, to make her safe. This is an emotionally charged scene as the rescuer starts to cry. She holds intently onto the abused woman’s arm as the boyfriend comes back. She confronts him about the abuse and he tries to take his girlfriend (Read:Slave) back home, the woman screams in his face. It is at this point the scene is cut short by the host.

After both these situations, the host interviews the spectators and intervening parties. They tell the host that they couldn’t just sit and let it happen, because if they were in the same position, they would want someone to help them. Good, human responses. It almost restores your faith in humanity, right?

Well, not in the next situation.

The way the women were to be dressed for the next scenario. Not even very much flesh revealed. Just goes to show how ready the public are to scorn.

The next scenarios are basically the same, apart from the fact that the women are wearing short-ish (I wouldn’t even really call them short, to be honest) low cut dresses. The subject matter of the argument is the woman’s clothes. The boyfriend berates her and spits insults across the table, makes grabs for the woman’s already bruised arms, and at one point, forces her to take her cardigan off to show everyone how much of a ‘slut’ she looked. He stops a foot short of actually starting to rip her dress off too, but since these people are actors and actresses, they would not. However, that’s not to say this kind of humiliation doesn’t happen. Abusers like to show everyone how awful their girlfriend (Read:Slave) actually is in a crass attempt to justify their actions, in their own twisted little brains. Anyway. As you might have guess, not a single person intervenes this time. People rubber neck and whisper, but no one will help.

The second clip, however, is much, much more painful to watch. The black actress dons a black strappy dress and is abused in the same why by her abuser. This time, an affronted couple complain to the abuser and his victim about all the racket they’re making! And suggest that they are just embarrassing themselves! (He nods at the battered, bruised woman at this point). He tells them that it isn’t the time or the place. People would rather you were abused in private. They don’t want to know about it, let alone help you – if you’re showing flesh. Two woman also move away from the table. They then sit and speculate if the woman might be a prostitute! Like it matters?

Society likes to confused and abuse women. Women aren’t just expected to dress one way. It’s not happening. If you dress too ‘conservatively’ you’re a prude. If you dress too ‘revealingly’ you’re a slut. Women’s clothes come down to one thing, will put out/won’t put out. (Or deserves it/doesn’t deserve it) An example of this: What kind of clothes for men are ‘slutty’? No one can answer this question in a definite manner, and this may be because men can’t be ‘sluts’ or because everyone has a different opinion on this. However, if I say to you, short skirt or hot-pants, stiletto heeled boots and a boob tube, everyone will immediately cry out “SLUT!” (what if I told you the woman was celibate and had been all her life? Is she still asking to be raped?)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not using these short films as super solid evidence. I would love to imagine that both these clips were just coincidentally filmed in a restaurant full of bastards, but that would be wishful thinking. Women in relationships are just as vulnerable to attack from anyone as their partner – maybe even more so. Sexual assault within a marriage is common. It’s common, but no one accepts it because when you tie the knot, our society takes away your right to say no. It’s no longer your body. A UK survey of 6,944 women who’d suffered rape, almost half (45%) had been raped by a partner. Women are expected, by society, to SERVE THEIR PARTNER. To no end of their own, a woman must have sex with a man when he wants it and damn well shut up about it. It’s not rape, you daft bint, it was just be having sex with you. WRONG. Men receive far too much sympathy for their fucking sexual needs. All too many times you hear men being excused for rape because a woman flirted with them. It’s all sympathy sympathy, he didn’t get to blow a load. Oh well, his cock won’t fucking explode you stupid fucking bastards. She, however, has just lost her dignity and will suffer trauma, flashbacks and a dysfunctional sex life for a very long time. What’s a lost erection to that?

This ties into the What Would You Do episode in every way. People see abuse as ‘a domestic’. It’s not something to get involved in, and much less if the woman looks like she may be provoking it. The same goes for when the woman is trying to defend herself. If she raises her voice or hits back, it’s no longer abuse, but a fight. And fights are okay. No matter who hit first, they’re just as bad as each other. WRONG. You cannot sneer in the face of a brave woman defending herself. Not every abused woman is a frightened, hunched, vulnerable girl. Some women DO try to fight back, and more often than not, end up worse off for it. This should never mean that she is discredited as a victim. Nor should she who dresses in whichever way she wants. When a woman dons a dress, she does not throw away her rights.