Horror: people get drunk, some of them are women.
Posted by TheWorstWitch in Uncategorized, tags: alcohol, daily mail, feminism
Thanks to the ever reliable Daily Mail, we have learnt of a terrifying new trend sweeping Britain’s young people by storm. Imported from the USA, it’s the latest craze… ditch your pokemon cards, kids, there’s a new cool status symbol in town – pouring booze in your eye.
Even as drunken student antics go, it was, by any stretch of the imagination, a disturbing scene. Surrounded by cheering rugby players, applauded by fellow members of the university netball team, 19-year-old Melissa Fontaine tipped back her head and giggled as fellow drinkers in the Students’ Union bar pulled apart her eyelids and allowed them to pour a shot of vodka into her left eye.
‘Vodka eyeballing’, as it is known in student circles, is the latest drinking craze to sweep through Britain’s universities.
Now, let’s get one thing straight before we begin – people getting really fucked and trying to do so through orifices other than their mouths is not a new thing. A quick straw poll among the SSY members at hand shows that all but one of us had heard of or seen people putting shots of vodka in their eye – fucking years ago. As the Daily Mail themselves mention, it was even featured in the film Kevin and Perry Go Large which was released ten years ago. And if the Daily Mail think drinking through your eye is bad, they must not have met anyone who’s doused a tampon in vodka and stuck it up their arse – or at least anyone that’s admitted to it.
Their story is based on a exclusive interview with Melissa, one victim of the eyeballing trend – but there’s a shocking twist in Melissa’s tale…
It would be easy, of course, to dismiss Melissa as nothing more than a silly ‘ladette’. But it is hard to reconcile that stereotype with the young woman she is today, fresh out of university in London with a first-class English degree, the privately-educated daughter of financiers, and an aspiring writer.
In short she is not the kind of young woman who might naturally be associated with Britain’s spiralling binge-drinking youth culture.
The rugby players were the worst, but because of feminism, you’re expected, as a woman, to keep up with them. The guys set a precedent and you have to follow. That’s what drives the whole ladette culture. Women believing they have to be equal in every single way.
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“…she is not the kind of young woman who might naturally be associated with Britain’s spiralling binge-drinking youth culture” fuck’s sake. At Edinburgh Uni at least, the posh crowd were the *worst* for going out and getting wankered.
Yes, as per usual, it’s all feminism’s fault. We spoil everything for everyone. Porn, good old rape, giving yer missus a good smacking, and now we’ve spoiled booze cause we can. Nyah Nyah. /satire
Good article, TheWorstWitch, It’s obvious that everyone fucking knew about vodka eyeballing, fuck’s sake. It’s a kind of obvious method of getting drunk, considering that your eye is made up of soft tissue and it is an easy inlet to your body. It’s just that fucktards actually DO it. But you know, go be stupid, i don’t care, and nor should the daily mail.
Hahaha, vodka arse tampon, a million thank yous for that one
They did get it right on women rugby players being absolutely epic with their drinking skills. Mind you, I don’t think the Daily Mail would be impressed with downing a pint in three seconds.
I hear you on this. But let’s get serious for a moment… Most people can go on a bit of a one-night bender and not feel anything out of the ordinary the next day. There are, however, a select percentage of individuals who can’t stop when the party ends. These people are alcoholics and they deserve our respect and support – be it through an intervention or helping them into an alcohol rehab program (or both). Otherwise, making light of the situation doesn’t seem very productive.
Not big. Not clever. Abstinence.
WHAT? The daily mail says that pouring vodka in your eye is new!? Christ i’ve been doing that since I was like 14 and i’m more than sure that young people were doing that waaaay before my days!
A proud Fiann always abstains. All activity is focused on the cause, not frivolity.
Except from swimming, always go swimming.
I think your motto should be always go fishing.