Scots Dictionary

Clegg: [kl?g, gl?g, gl?d]n. The gadfly, horsefly. Also known as Nick.
Definition: A blood-sucking beastie that leaves an extremely painful bite. Considered as pests for the bites that many inflict, they are among the world’s largest true flies. Found largely in the Highlands, northern and rural Scotland. Though they emerge only during warm weather and are extremely loud during flight, Cleggs are only heard or noticed during elections, 6 weeks after which most Cleggs wither and die.

Their bite can spread anthrax to former Tory voters; they are also known to spread worms. Cleggs can even penetrate light sweaters worn by woolly liberals, such is their ferocious bite.

The pain of a Clegg bite may mean that the victim is more concerned with assessing and repairing the wound, rather than finding and swatting the Clegg as standard practice with most pests.

Cleggs can only be repelled with the strongest pest repellent, or a good dose of Socialist education.

For more information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse-fly