Congratulations -- we’ve won.

Today’s Daily Express (formerly the greatest newspaper in the world) has today admitted a humiliating defeat on all fronts.
An embittered communique received from their underground bunker somewhere in (presumably what remains of) the Home Counties, has been taken as a final admission of unconditional surrender:

“The class war is over. The Marxists won. After 13 years of Labour rule, Britain has been turned into a fully fledged socialist nation.”

SSY has already been asked by Comrade Brown to help form a new provisional government.
We have immediately ordered the closure of all opposition media outlets, including the Daily Express, the Daily Star and Asian Babes. Richard Desmond, owner of all three respective publications, has been forced to end his heady days as a millionaire porn baron, and has been reassigned to a tractor factory  #343 currently located in the ruins of what used to known as Bearsden.

This glorious news comes just days after the success of the socialist revolution in Comrade Obama’s United Soviet States, with the passing of the health care bill. Fortunately we were successful in duping the American public into believing that this Kenyan Marxist Muslim Terrorist Anti-Christ Hitler-Fan, was a pillar of respectability and honesty while his socialist programme was enacted in secrecy.

Next we plan to install Jonathan Ross in Buckingham Palace with a phone line paid for with taxpayers money. He will use this to harangue elderly and beloved sitcom stars as part of an extreme socialist re-education programme.

Indeed, the plan that began almost 13 years ago when we assassinated Princess Diana has now come to full fruition. Despite the best efforts of the Daily Express to expose this plot, we have finally been able to silence them from telling the truth.

Well done everyone -- long may we continue to live in our socialist paradise of m-cat, internet piracy, rampant homosexuality and lovely rising house prices. Long live comrade Kim ul-Brown!

Victory celebrations at Ibrox earlier this evening, choreographed by Tony Mowbray.
additional reporting by jack and andy bowden

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