Everyone loves the C-word!

my ones r better than yurs

A new phenomenon is sweeping Parliament. Yeah, those crazy politicians, they just can’t stop saying the C-word!
Gutted to say that the C-word they’re all so keen to utter isn’t even a particularly descriptive word, let alone the C-word that sums themselves up so succinctly. Nah, this is a nice, clean, friendly, smiley, happy C-word, that our fearless politicians are prepared to face head-on… cuts!
And as if they weren’t having enough fun with that, there’s now some kind of contest going on over which party can come up with the ‘best’ cuts, like a bunch of pre-school kids who’ve just been let loose with scissors for the first time.
Whether these cuts will be quite so smiley, happy and fun to front line service users, postal workers, debt-laden students, council employees and basically anyone who isn’t frequently in the society pages of Tatler, is less clear. But who cares about that, ’cause MPs are suffering too… David Cameron, never a man to shy away from a bit of radical social reform, is going to scrap cheap food for MPs as well! And with that, the crisis of capitalism was solved in one simple step.

bolshevik revolution 2.0

Leftfield has a confession to make though: we can be pretty fond of the C-word at times too. After literally an entire ten minutes of deliberating, I’ve managed to come up with a couple of suggestions Alistair Darling might like to consider before he gets too carried away with his insane cutlass wielding rampage of cuts. So here goes… the Monarchy (we each pay £3 towards it annually), Trident nuclear weapon renewal (£2100+ each over its lifetime) and the war in Afghanistan (£75 each a year on average). That’s the kind of c-word usage we approve of.

spoilsports