Griffin In Stay-At-Home Shocker!

Nick Griffin / Tony from Dinnerladies

It has today been revealed that recently elected British National Party MEP Nick Griffin has run into difficulties with taking his seat in the European Parliament.

The British National Party, known for “not being racist, honest”, had two of its members elected in the recent European elections. Andrew Brons, elected in the Yorkshire and Humber constituency, has already taken his seat despite initial problems finding which part of “foreign” the parliament was in.

Problems arose for Mr Griffin shortly after the election when he was required to travel to Brussels. Despite initial excitement over his election, the party leader has repeatedly said that he “doesn’t want to go” because he “won’t know anyone”. Even though he has been told that lots of people at the parliament would be new, Griffin has stuck to his guns and refuses to go. The mother of the “not racist”, Mrs Ethel Griffin (102), told us yesterday how it wasn’t the first time her son had acted in such a manner:

“He’s always been like this. I remember the first time he was supposed to go out with his friends to shout abuse at Asian families. He moaned all morning that it would be rubbish and that he didn’t want to go. Of course, when I finally managed to persuade him he had a whale of a time and needless to say he’s been at it nonstop since then!”

The European Parliament recognises that after each election many of its members will be new and possibly not familiar with their colleagues or their surroundings. For this reason the first session after elections begins by all members saying their name, their favourite food and an interesting fact about themselves. This is then translated into all of the EU’s 23 official languages and is followed by lemonade and Jaffa Cakes.

Even with these measures in place, Griffin still refuses to attend parliament. The British National Party has issued a statement saying that they are “doing all they can to resolve the situation and are not racist, honest”. Griffin himself refuses to comment and so an empty seat remains at Brussels for the foreseeable future.